WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO WITNESS IS

AN AMATEUR RADIO STATION

LICENSED AS

___________________________________________________

BY THE FEDERAL COMMUNICATIONS COMMISSION.

BEFORE YOU ASK THE QUESTIONS, HERE ARE THE ANSWERS:

The total cost of this equipment cannot be discussed here as it creates marital conflicts.

No, we cannot send a message to your brother in Hong Kong,

we suggest you call Western Union.

This is strictly a hobby; we do not have the facilities or the time to fix TV sets,

Radios or Wi-Fi. We suggest that you see a serviceman.

Yes, the antenna in the backyard is essential to operation of the equipment.

The farthest station we have contacted has been ________________.

Oh, No !!! Never does this stations equipment interfere with Television reception.

FUTHERMORE

IF YOU ARE INVITED TO SPEAK INTO THE MICROPHONE, PLEASE OBSERVE

THE FOLLOWING RULES:

Speak in a low and soothing tone

Do not disagree with me in any manner.

Say no bad words and tell no off-color jokes.

DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING, TURN KNOBS, SIT ON EQUIPMENT, ETC.

I HAVE LOST SEVERAL VISITORS BY ELECTROCUTION IN THE PAST FEW WEEKS.